Individuality

I am embracing the idea of being alone, I love being alone. The fact that when we’re alone we activated the natural behaviour / instinc of survival, we’re capable for doing a lot of things that we don’t usually did alone. As a human being, as a women in their 20’s, I want to grow and be the best version of myself, a better one. I want to meet her and I’m fully aware that to meet her I need to be in a certain level of headspace and in a certain energy. But, sometimes, our values and the person we aspire to be not aligned with the people around us, it’s not their faults or (in this case) my fault, it’s just that time in life where we finally reach the peak of outgrown, people changes and it is normal.

In the end of the day, we all are individual people, people chasing their own dreams, put focus on their own businesses, so I do that too. These couple of months I was removing myself from things, people, and energy that doesn’t match my intentions, my energy and who am I aspire to be.  I put more focus on myself and be with myself, I’m starting to give myself more time to being alone, to grow alone. There was a time where I was so depend on people presences, wondering when they  could spare their time and asked me out for casual coffee talk and I was there waiting patiently for them to notice. I’ve been spending times run away for my ownselves, distracting myself with outside sources, for what? For denied who I am, because I hadn’t become my ideal person yet. It’s all so draining.

  In this ‘being alone’  phase, it feels like I was reset myself, it helps me to saw my life differetly I starting to get to know myself without being blurred by a lot of energies that caused chaos and feeling lost. I’m starting to see myself as I am, as naked as I am and something in it feels so powerful. But now, the more I put my focus on myself, living like nobody’s watching  (with no romantic distraction, no self-centered friends that keep me from dealing with my real life), strangely enough I actually gained more confidence and awareness towards myself, it teach me to invest more energy into my own growth as a human being, put more believe on my own opinion, because noone knows me better than myself, people only knows thing about me as much as I let them to be, etc. The fact that I am spending most of my time with myself makes me so rooted in myself that nobody’s absence or presence can disturb my inner peace. I’ve found comfort in me, I just mind my own business and it makes me feel I am closer to become the person I aspire to be.